Top Ten ways to know that Pudge Rodriguez is ***
10. "Pudge" is actually an acronym for "Packed Fudge".
9. His first name is really Ivannarealman.
8. He likes to repeatedly wiggle his fingers in front of his crotch.
7. He wears a lot of leather and metal.
6. Why do you think his shin guards have knee protectors?
5. He could have played any other position growing up, but catcher offered him the best chance of staring at guy’s butts in the batter’s box.
4. He really enjoys when opposing baserunners slide into him.
3. The home plate umps frequently lean on him when calling pitches, and he doesn’t complain.
2. He decided to play in Florida … near Key West.
… and the number one way to know that Pudge Rodriguez is *** …
1. In the same season, his team has been on the "bottom" and on the "top" of the baseball world.