Tagged: Headlines

Headline not to read right before lunch

Colonscopy anyone?

(actual headline …)

"Colon Not Quite Up to Speed but Gets Results"


pass the Tums …

Like 2 Rosses that pass in the night ..

A Ross of a different color?

(actual [screwed up] headline follows)

"Reds activate OF Cody Ross, option RHP Mike Ross"

"The Cincinnati Reds activated outfielder Cody Ross from the 15-day disabled list Monday and optioned right-hander Mike Burns to Triple-A Louisville."
OK kids …. its time to sing ….
A-a-a-a-a ……. Ross is a Ross, of course, of course,
And no one can demote a Ross of course
That is, of course, unless the Ross used to play for Krivsky’s Reds.

Go right to the source and ask the boss
He’ll give you the answer with no remorse.
He’s always on a shaky course.
Talk to the head Red.

Krivsky’s on a losing streak and wastes your time of day
But the head Red will never speak unless he has something to say.

A Ross is a Ross, of course, of course,
And this one’ll balk ’til his arm falls off.
You never heard of a balking Ross?

Well listen to this.

I am the head Red

Lima pitches for who?

Lima Time is on our side (no, he’s on their side)

Another botched headline from AP:

Lima tries to remain unbeaten against the Mets

MILWAUKEE — Good things seem to happen to Jose Lima when he pitches against the Milwaukee Brewers.

Looking to raise his career record against Milwaukee to 11-0, Lima will be on the mound for the New York Mets on Friday when the teams kick off a three-game series.

So, is Lima pitching FOR the Mets or AGAINST them?

Well … given his less than stellar performance in his last start, it MIGHT be subject to confusion.

And now … your Chicago Royals!

Home alone … but just whose home?

Royals host White Sox in search of 11th straight home win

CHICAGO – Riding their longest home winning streak in nearly a decade, the Chicago White Sox will host a team coming off just its first road victory of the season.

The White Sox will look to extend their winning streak at U.S. Cellular Field to 11 games in Friday’s opener of a three-game series against the last-place Kansas City Royals.


Get me rewrite …. now!

Rest in Peace Kirby …

G_puckett_195No humorous bits from me here ….

Just a note to say how much I enjoyed watching him play, and watching HOW he played, with a joy and exuberance not often seen.

Thank you Kirby, for 12 great years ….

Sigh …

Urine is not your own

Field of Streams …. 

"Federal prosecutors want access to hundreds of urine samples of Major League Baseball players seized in 2003 as part of the BALCO steroid scandal investigation.

Authorities had a warrant for 10 players’ samples, but ended up seizing samples of hundreds of players from three laboratories."


I can see it now …. the 2006 Topps set will include special bonus cards with urine-coated slides in them.