(actual headline …)
"Colon Not Quite Up to Speed but Gets Results"
pass the Tums …
(actual [screwed up] headline follows)
"Reds activate OF Cody Ross, option RHP Mike Ross"
And no one can demote a Ross of course
That is, of course, unless the Ross used to play for Krivsky’s Reds.
Go right to the source and ask the boss
He’ll give you the answer with no remorse.
He’s always on a shaky course.
Talk to the head Red.
Krivsky’s on a losing streak and wastes your time of day
But the head Red will never speak unless he has something to say.
A Ross is a Ross, of course, of course,
And this one’ll balk ’til his arm falls off.
You never heard of a balking Ross?
Well listen to this.
I am the head Red
Another botched headline from AP:
Lima tries to remain unbeaten against the Mets
Looking to raise his career record against Milwaukee to 11-0, Lima will be on the mound for the New York Mets on Friday when the teams kick off a three-game series.
So, is Lima pitching FOR the Mets or AGAINST them?
Well … given his less than stellar performance in his last start, it MIGHT be subject to confusion.
Royals host White Sox in search of 11th straight home win
CHICAGO – Riding their longest home winning streak in nearly a decade, the Chicago White Sox will host a team coming off just its first road victory of the season.
The White Sox will look to extend their winning streak at U.S. Cellular Field to 11 games in Friday’s opener of a three-game series against the last-place Kansas City Royals.
Get me rewrite …. now!
"Rockies designate Day for assignment"
Kids 14 and under can bring their homework assignment to the park on June 3rd, and have Rockies players help them with it.
"Federal prosecutors want access to hundreds of urine samples of Major League Baseball players seized in 2003 as part of the BALCO steroid scandal investigation.
Authorities had a warrant for 10 players’ samples, but ended up seizing samples of hundreds of players from three laboratories."
I can see it now …. the 2006 Topps set will include special bonus cards with urine-coated slides in them.