Tagged: Executives

DUI really wanna hurt me?

I can’t drive (at) point one five

Washington Nationals general manager Jim Bowden was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol after allegedly running a stop sign while in Florida during his team’s series against the Marlins last weekend.

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Bowden apparently has been watching too many Nationals players ignoring 3rd base coach Tony Beasley and running through HIS stop sign.

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Why Theo REALLY came back …

From the home office in Fenway Park, here is today’s top 10 list …

Top 10 Reasons Theo Epstein Came Back to the Sox

10. He thought he could replace Johnny Damon in center field, with himself.

9. He finished watching all the past seasons of "The Sopranos" on DVD, and realized he had nothing else to do.

8. No one remaining in the front office would talk to Larry Lucchino.

7. He flunked his tryout for "American Idol".

6. He remembered he had left all his "Playboys" in the bottom drawer of his desk.

5. Somebody had to try and get Manny Ramirez to stop his on-again/off-again trade demands.

4. He had become so depressed, he was considering taking up "Scientology".

3. The Red Sox promised him his own "Bobblehead Day".

2. He discovered Brian Cashman was stalking him.

and the number one reason Theo Epstein came back to the Sox …

1. His fantasy football team finished dead last, and he figured he should stick to what he knew. 

Top Ten List: Why Theo REALLY left …

From the home office in Fenway Park, here is today’s top 10 list …

Top 10 Reasons Theo Epstein Left the Sox

10. People were blaming him for the Danny Cater / Sparky Lyle trade from 1972.

9. He was 31 and single, and the "Qu**r Eye for the Straight Guy" fellows were recruiting.

8. His free agent shortstop Edgar Renteria played like Rich Renteria.

7. He wanted to be …. a LUMBERJACK! (extra points if you get the reference)

6. He couldn’t deal with being less popular than Tom Brady.

5. He was going to work on his Off-Broadway one man musical revue "Theo-logy"

4. Larry Lucchino took a page out of the Star Wars playbook by revealing that he was really Theo’s father.

3. He didn’t want to have to sit across from Scott Boras anymore.

2. Manny Ramirez paid him $10 million to leave.

and the number one reason Theo Epstein left the Sox …

1. George Steinbrenner’s "Theo Epstein voodoo doll" really worked!