"Honey … these tickets are for the Browns and Seahawks … 6 months from now."

Just in case the run for the White House doesn’t work out, the Yankees have offered Rudy Giuliani the back-up catcher’s job.

Commissioner Bud Selig tries to get in touch with his true feelings by employing a Vulcan mind meld on himself.

1) Deciding between the chicken club sandwich and the chili con carne.
2) Checking out his choices for the 3rd race at Prescott Downs.
3) Figuring out just where his team is gonna come up with the 95+ wins its gonna to take the division this year.
4) Taking another look at 7 Across …. "Relief ______".

Undeniable proof that the ball is juiced … (and that "juice" is beer)

Scott Spiezio manages to make the catch in the outfield, despite the smiling presence of the man who hit the ball, Jeff Cirillo, lurking directly behind him.

Justin Morneau shows us the only reasonable situation in which to call someone a "T***lhead".